Grace on a Jet Ski

I received the following link from a friend.  It is an encouraging article for my fellow home school moms, but it can also be applied to many areas of life, whether you home school or not.  So I am taking a few things from her article, expounding on them, and how it was and now is in my life.  http://www.homeschoolconvention.com/blog/will-the-real-me-please-stand-up/

“We’d gotten a little way into our home educating journey when I seemed to lose sight of that. I have a streak of the Type A overachiever in me, and it seemed that suddenly this thing called “classical homeschooling” was everywhere (yes, I’ve been homeschooling long enough to remember when the classical movement really became popular!).

Oh…I’d better try that. Here kids–memorize this, study that—whether I felt it was age-appropriate or not. Didn’t matter if we liked it or not either, an “expert” told us to. I worked hard to ignore the fact that the method simply wasn’t working for our family—it was supposed to be SO GOOD.

Oh wait, accelerated academics? Yep, sign us up. Seemed like the thing to do to put off the homeschooling nay-sayers, if my early elementary students could rattle off a list of the Ancient Egyptian pharaohs or the periodic table.”

First, for those who do not homeschool, know that COMPARISON is a trap from Satan and is one of the biggest things us moms/teachers endure.  It gets ugly at times.  And when it is thrown in your face – it hurts.  (Score one for the enemy.)  

But God does not want me to live this way.  He has called me to live a life of purpose.  He desires for me to follow his UNIQUE plan.  This is hard.  It really is.  Women are very relational by nature.  We want a friend who has kids like ours, uses the same math book, has the same schedule, goes to the same church, involved with the same sports, etc. so that there is this common bond and comfort zone.  I know this because I have lived it for years, feel the same way many times, and so want it to be a reality in my life!  Truth is that I have searched and found no one like me.  (That makes me an original!)  I did find a lady who is really close.  We both have 16 year-old daughters and 11-year old sons.  We both homeschool, go to the same church and drive the same make and model of van.  But alas, her van is gold and mine is silver.  Since we do not know which fine gem is more important to the Lord (both are mentioned in scripture with high regard), we do not hang out with each other.  (Here is a bit of that sarcasm I told you about.)   

So when I read Jen’s article, I understood.  My best and dearest friend does classical education.  She is so incredibly happy in her journey.  Her kids are thriving.  I sit and listen to her talk about her subjects and planning.  Seeing her at peace makes me very glad for her.  However, if I jumped in her boat, I would sink.  Her journey is not my journey.

Another friend does the advance classes/accredited method.  Another mom is doing on-line classes; another co-op classes.  Each family is different.  Each family is happy.  Each family is right where they need to be for them.   But again, if I joined them on their journey, I and my kids would sink.  Now don’t get me wrong – they are in great boats, built of fine materials and excellent for sailing rocky waters.  Everything about their journey is perfect for them. It is not for my family.  God called some to captain sailboats, some to yachts and some to house boats.  He called me to a pontoon boat or maybe, more accurately, a nice size jet ski.   And guess what – I am very, very, happy!  Jet skis are fun!

I got to the place two years ago, where I looked in the mirror and did not know who I was anymore.  I was trying to captain a boat that God had not given me.  Once I got on board with the right vessel, life has been so much better.  My dear daughter said something recently while our family was coming home from Sunday lunch.  I will never forget her words.  They were honey to my heart.  She exclaimed, “I love my family now.  We are so much more fun and it is better than it has ever been!”

Jen mentions ‘lifestyles’.  Yep – did some letting go in this area as well.  For years I tried to keep up with those around me, to fit in, be accepted, and viewed as ‘righteous’ by man’s standards.  I failed.  (Score one for the Enemy.)  So God had to pick me up (and one of my kids for that matter) hold us tight and remind us of who we are in HIM!   I knew that I would lose friends or have friends put distance between us.  I was right – it happened.  But my kids are more confident, our home happier and the love abundant.  The friends that I ‘lost’ in the last few years, well, I know they were not really friends to begin with.  I am still surrounded by my true friends.  I know who they are.  And none of them are just like me.

I could not have said this better myself: 

“Life will bring enough hardships all on its own. Don’t make it harder. Try not to give a hoot about what such-and-such thinks of what you’re doing—they’re not perfect either. You have a Bible—read it. Talk to your husband about what’s important to both of you, and don’t be swayed by the latest teachings and fads circulating in the homeschool world, no matter how good they seem, if you know they’re just not for your family”.

I am applying that to not only school decisions, but to the type of car you drive, the clothes you wear, the TV shows and movies you watch, music you listen too, your hair style, favorite sports team and much more.  It falls under Grace.  

May I continue to be gracious to my own family and gracious to those around me, even though you may not have a cool silver van pulling a jet ski!

Have you struggled with comparison?  Or are you, with God’s help, confidently on the journey He has for you?